im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
