i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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