Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
no you cant smoke seaweed
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
