I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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