Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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