Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Randomize
