We named our party play list daddy issues
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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