Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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