Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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