is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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