Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I wish there were birth control emojis
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
