Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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