I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
