I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize