No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize