Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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