This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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