Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
She announced her abortion via fbk
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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