Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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