dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
