You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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