you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize