Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
