It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize