if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
i think my tv is drunk
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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