She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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