big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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