if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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