Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
