Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
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