there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Randomize
