Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Randomize