cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
