No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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