You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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