i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize