can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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