I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
