she was so not down for the gang bang
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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