dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Randomize
