So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
