apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
