glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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