I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Can you repeat that, but with context?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
