i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
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