He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
