My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
