Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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