Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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