i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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