I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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