Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
