she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
