Well douche your snatch and let's go!
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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