Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
