How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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