I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Randomize
