It's Friday. Sex?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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