you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
