Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
