I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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