I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
