So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
