I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
