nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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