i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
