brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
babies were throwing up all over the place
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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