Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
