you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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