I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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