I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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